


contagion effect

by qrimmauld



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ba Sing Se, Book 2: Earth, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Sokka is smart, Tags Are Hard, There Is No War In Ba Sing Se, a month, bc yue deserves to live, but a bit more complicated, even if its just in words, hello, i take a lot inspiration from the gays, idiots to lovers, jet/zuko implied, more like, not beta read bc i dont know how that works, personifications of the moon, secret friendship, so he decided to fall in love, so many secrets, sokka was so bored, that’s so much time, they were in Ba Sing Se for a month, wait actually im taking back the enemies to friends to lovers, what does it mean, zuko is smart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26042749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qrimmauld/pseuds/qrimmauld
Summary: After the fall of Ba Sing Se, Azula noticed Zuko acting differently.Perhaps that's what three years of banishment and a life-long scar does to someone, but not to Zuko. Azula knew that well enough.So, what exactly happened in Ba Sing Se?(Or the one where Ba Sing Se was just a one-month stopover to everyone but Zuko and Sokka.)
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 155





	1. The Difference Between ‘Goodbye’ and ’See You Later’

**Author's Note:**

> hey wow ur so sexy for reading this wow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka learns that he doesn't always have to say goodbye. Sometimes 'see you later' was enough. Zuko wished he could do the same.

* * *

“What are you doing in our land with a sandbender sailer?” Sokka turned to face the man speaking. “From the looks of it, you stole it from the Hami tribe.”

“We found the sailer abandoned in the desert. We're traveling with the Avatar.” Katara spoke up. The past months with Aang seemed to hone her ability to form diplomatic relations between nations. “Our bison was stolen and we have to get to Ba Sing Se.”

“How dare you accuse us of theft when you have a sailer in your possession!” The boy holding a compass screamed.

“Quiet, Ghashiun,” The leader chastised. “No one accused our people of anything. Let’s talk to them with the proper manners expected of us.”

“Sorry, father.”

“I recognize the son's voice.” Toph stepped forward, voice firm. “He's the one that stole Appa!”

“Are you sure?” Katara whispered into her ear. 

“I _never_ forget a voice.”

That seemed to be enough for Aang as he swung his glider, a gush of wind hitting one of the sand sliders, crushing it to bits.

“What did you do with Appa? Where did you take him? Tell me, you thief!” Aang pointed his glider at the boy beside their leader.

“They're lying! They're the thieves! I did no such thing!” Ghashiun protested.

Aang raised his glider and struck it down with a strong burst of air. He watched as the remaining sliders crumbled and felt a sick twist of satisfaction from its destruction.

 _‘Serves them right.’_ He thought _._

“Where is my bison?” Aang faced the young boy again, enraged

Sokka watched the fury in Aang’s movements. It was an uncommon emotion to be surging in him, flowing through the arrows on his body, but he looked powerful. _Dangerous_ , almost.

Sokka felt extremely glad he wasn’t his enemy.

“It wasn’t me!” Ghashiun was a trembling leaf.

“Tell me where he is now!”

“I—”

Aang let loose another strong wind that threatened to hurl the sandbenders across the desert.

“You said to put a muzzle on Appa! I heard you—” Before Toph could finish her sentence she was interrupted by Aang stepping forward, glider inches away from Ghashiun’s face.

“You _muzzled_ Appa?” Aang had started to glow.

_Oh no._

“I didn’t know it was the Avatar’s! I wouldn’t have sold it if I knew it was yours!”

“Where is Appa?” Aang’s voice had begun to distort and he was steadily rising, an air sphere forming around him.

“I traded him! To some merchants! He's probably in Ba Sing Se by now! They were going to sell him there!” The sandbenders raise their hands, trying to block out the light. “Please! We'll escort you out of the desert! We'll help however we can!”

Aang continued to glow, bright and angry. Sokka felt liquid dread drip down his shoulders. It felt cold and dismaying.

They needed to run, and they needed to do it quickly.

“C’mon!” He grabbed Toph and pushed the sandbenders away from Aang.

“You can let him kill you once he’s calmed down,” Toph jeered, a mischievous look in her eyes.

Ghashiun was going to pass out in the middle of running away from the Avatar. That wouldn’t do. Aang would feel horrible if he had caused harm to someone while in the avatar state.

“She’s kidding! Right, Katara?” He turned to his sister, asking for assistance, only to find her beside the Avatar. “Katara?”

_Oh no._

“Katara!” He intended to run back for her but a hand on his arm stopped him.

“Let her do this,” Toph said.

“We can’t! What if she gets hurt? Aang—”

“—Would never hurt her. Not even in the avatar state.”

Sokka watched as Katara placed her hand on Aang’s arm. The light in his eyes started to dim as he laid his stare on her. Toph was right. Katara was his anchor. A reminder of what he was fighting for. Aang descended and slumped against Katara’s hold, tears streaming down their faces.

They were hurting but Sokka knew they’d be okay.

_They had each other._

* * *

Zuko was cramped in a tiny vase, covered in dirt and rocks, and he had never been more annoyed.

He peeked over his vase to talk to the former General. “Uncle, do we really—”

“Quiet, Zuko! We cannot risk being found. We must get to Ba Sing Se and we can’t do that if you are complaining so loudly! You don’t hear me complaining when—”

“Uncle Shut up! Someone’s coming.” They ducked back into their respective vases, burying themselves under the Fire Lilies.

“You seen these punks?” Xin Fu’s scratchy voice called out. Zuko felt a laugh bubbling up in his chest at the ridiculousness of their situation but he quickly tamped it down.

He felt the flower vase rattle and for a moment he was afraid he was going to fall over and get caught.

“As you can see, it is only you, me, and the plants that are present in this room.”

“I got a tip that those bastards were in your shop!”

“Good sir, I—”

“Enough, merchant peasant! We know all about your secret backroom. Xin Fu! Take it down.”

The sound of the door being knocked down was faint and distant. Zuko belatedly realized that they were being wheeled away. He risked lifting his head to check on their surroundings and saw his uncle do the same. They were out of the shop. A tall woman was pushing the cart their vases were on.

“Where are you taking us?”

“Nephew it's alright. She’s taking us to Ba Sing Se.”

“Ba Sing Se…” Zuko repeated. “In a _flower vase_.”

Iroh let out a loud guffaw and that was all it took for Zuko to start laughing too.

“We’re going to Ba Sing Se!” Zuko giggled. “Uncle, we’re really going to Ba Sing Se!”

Iroh smiled as he watched his nephew, all smiles and bright, hope-wide eyes, and felt that he didn’t need to be at Ba Sing Se to get the do-over he needed.

“Yes, Zuko,” He placed one of the Fire Lilies in Zuko’s hands. “We can start over.”

* * *

After the horrible incident with the sandbenders, a day off was exactly what they needed.

Or several hours off. An hour off. Alright maybe a few minutes off, but they can’t do much when time is running against them.

Toph was sat near the waterfall, feet in the water. This was probably her version of relaxing with your eyes closed.

Aang jumped off the cliff and dived into the water. Once he was submerged, he turned the water around him into ice. _For amusement_. Like potentially freezing yourself to the point of hypothermia was amusing.

_Sokka wanted to ask if Aang had ever felt cold in those hundred years he spent underwater._

“Waterbending bomb!” Katara ran towards the edge of the cliff, excitement fit for the child laced in her voice. “Yeah!”

The strength of her descent into water created a huge wave, sending Aang out of the water and soaking Toph, Sokka, and the five-thousand-year-old maps.

“ _Thanks_ , Katara. These extremely important scrolls were feeling a bit dry. A splash of water was _exactly_ what it needed.”

“Sorry.” Katara wrung her hair dry and bent the water out of the scrolls.

Toph wondered why she didn’t just bend the water out of her hair too. She felt the Avatar’s heartbeat quicken.

“You were amazing, Katara,” He said.

 _Ah,_ Toph realized _. Ew_.

“Alright, listen up,” the rest of them gathered around Sokka, “I’ve got the route, my children.”

“You’re barely a year older than me.”

“A year is still a long time, Katara!”

“What’s all this ruckus about?” Aang leaned against a nearby tree.

“You know, just because you're a hundred and eleven years old doesn’t mean you have to talk like one.”

“Ooh, nice one Sokka!” Toph raised her fist for Sokka to bump.

Katara opened her mouth to tell her brother off but three people had come up from the corner of the cliff.

“Hello! Are you traveling too? We’ve come to seek refuge behind the walls of Ba Sing Se.” The man waved his hand.

“So are we!” Aang said.

“This is my wife and our children.” He gestured to the pregnant woman and a young girl at his side. “Well! Shall we journey together then?”

“Sure, we were planning to pass through…” Aang remembered that they hadn’t heard about Sokak’s planned route. “Sokka, where are we passing again?”

“I wasn’t able to say because _Katara,”_ Sokka glared at his sister, “rudely interrupted me, but we are passing through the Serpent’s Pass.”

A look of fear and shock came over their features. “But only the truly desperate pass there. It is dangerous and extremely deadly!”

The four children were silent.

“Deadly, huh,” Katara snickered.

Sokka elbowed his sister in reply. “Shut up.”

* * *

Zuko loved the ocean.

He found comfort in the splash of its waves, the blow of its breeze. The ocean was calm and serene yet deadly and agitated. It was capable of so much beauty but often was the cause of great destruction. It was vast and open, yet no one knew of its deepest secrets, hidden away in the darkest crevices of the ocean floor.

He felt a sort of kinship with it.

“I can’t believe I’m going back to the scene of my greatest demise.” Iroh was facing away from Zuko, voice so monotone Zuko was having trouble deciding if he needed to comfort him or not.

He faced Zuko to show off his newly procured hat. “As a tourist!”

_Guess that’s a no for the comforting._

He took a spoonful of … _stew?_ into his mouth and spat it out the minute that he tasted it. “That’s dreadful! I’m sick of living like a fugitive! All we get is tattered clothes, sleeping in the dirt, rotten food, and no money! If this is what it’s like in Ba Sing Se, I’d rather be captured by the fire nation.”

“I’ll drink to that.” A tall boy with long hair, bangs obscuring his eyes, stood at Zuko’s _left_ side.

He immediately turned to face him, making sure his uncle was within reasonable reaching distance with his left hand.

“You don’t have a drink,” Zuko pointed out rather astutely.

“Maybe you could get me one?”

“Pardon me? Do I look like a servant boy to you?”

“Absolutely not,” The boy all but leered at him, “but I heard the captain’s got all kinds of drinks and food holed up his private kitchens. I _also_ heard that the guards have their breaks at seven forty-five in the evening and come back at eight.”

Zuko was silent for a minute but it was all for show. Iroh knew his nephew wouldn’t be able to resist messing with authority. _Especially_ when a delinquent like him was asking.

“What’s your name?” Zuko asked

“I’m Jet. These are my freedom fighters, Smellerbee and Longshot.”

“Hello,” He raised his hand to wave at them. “I am Li.”

“So, what do you say, Li? Up for some liberation?”

Iroh heard the answer before Zuko even opened his mouth.

* * *

“NO PASSPORT, NO TICKETS.”

“But—”

“Next!”

“Don’t worry,” Aang turned around to face the panicked family, speaking in a surprisingly steady voice for someone who was just screamed at, “you’ll get through to the city safely. I’ll guide you through the Serpent’s Pass.”

It was easier to remember he was the Avatar when he spoke like this.

The family all but burst to tears in gratitude. They latched onto his arm, expressing their thanks. Aang looked like a lost child awkwardly trying to fend them off.

Under all the selfless acts and duty-fueled speeches, he was still a kid. People tend to forget that sometimes.

“We should probably get going,” Katara helped Aang remove himself from the family.

“Good idea, Katara!” Sokka caught on quickly to what she was doing. “We should really—”

“Wait for me!”

Sokka turned around to face someone he thought he wouldn’t see again. He had already made peace with her choice of staying at the station. _What was she doing running their way?_

“Suki? What are you doing here?”

“I’m coming with.”

“Are you sure? What about the station?”

Her joyful expression dropped. “Do you not want me to go?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just—”

“—Just what, Sokka?”

Pale white hair and ice-cold kisses were brought to the forefront of his mind.

“Nothing,” He wouldn’t let Suki be someone he lost. _Not like she was_. “Glad you’re coming.”

He watched as she walked past him, capable and strong with her upturned chin. At that moment Sokka knew he needed her around.

“Thinking about her, huh?” Katara elbowed him. A sad smile graced her lips and Sokka felt his shoulders slump. They both knew which _her_ she was referring to.

“What’s new?” He sighed and went to catch up with them.

As they passed by the ferry, Sokka saw a familiar scar and ponytail catch his eye and felt himself freeze.

“Guys!”

“What’s wrong, Sokka?” His sister questioned, worry laced in her voice.

“It’s Zuko.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I saw his scar. He was hiding under a hood, that coward.” Sokka felt anger at the mere thought of the firebending prince. 

“Alright, let’s go have a word with him. I’ve been dying to meet him.” Toph cracked the knuckles in her right hand.

Sokka advanced towards him, ready for a fight. Katara had her waterskin out and open, Aang beside her, glider at the ready. Toph and Suki stood at the other side with their fans and rocks at their disposal. 

He grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. “What do you think you’re doing here, flame-brain?”

“What the fuck, man?” A woman cried out. She had more than half of her face scarred off, more than Zuko did. It started at the corner of her mouth, spreading to the bridge of her nose and upward to her hairline. 

“Oh! I thought that— we were just— see we thought—”

Before Sokka could finish he was interrupted with a resounding smack to his face. “Who do you think you are, grabbing random women?” She seemed to notice his clothing. “You would expect this from Fire Nation hotheads, but Water Tribe? Guess nationality doesn’t stop creeps like you.”

Aang stepped forward. “We’re so sorry my friend here mistook you for someone else. It won’t happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t.” She turned around walked back into the ferry.

The rest of them looked at Sokka with annoyance.

“I’m sorry?” He tried to reason.

“Not everyone who is scarred is from the Fire Nation,” Katara sighed. “Most of them get it _from_ the Fire Nation. We’re all seeking refuge here.”

He seemed to forget that he was surrounded by refugees running away from the Fire Nation. He remembered Zuko and his uncle in frayed and ragged clothing. How they were being hunted down by Zuko’s princess sister. Seemed like they were running away too. 

Sokka sheathed his Boomerang back into its bag and walked away with the realization that Zuko might just not be part of the war anymore. 

* * *

“Alright,” Jet said into his right ear, “we’re gonna go in, grab the food, shove it in the sack, then dip. Got it?”

“Yes. Just one question though, what does ‘dip’ mean?”

“You for real?” Smellerbee turned around, shock in her voice. Even Longshot looked surprised. “What, are you some kind of noble? You a prince?”

“Smellerbee, don’t be an ass,” Jet admonished before he could reply. “It just means ‘leave’. It’s a common slang word.”

“Slang,” Zuko repeated. He wasn’t allowed to speak like anything short of the prince he was, disappointment or not.

“Yeah, slang.”

“As much as your linguistics class 101 entertains me,” she stood up, weapons unsheathed, “we gotta go, dweebs.”

“Shut your trap, Smellerbee,” Jet glared at her then turned back to Zuko.

_Had he always been this close?_

“You ready?” 

“Ready to dip.”

“No, no. We dip later.” 

“Oh, ok.” _That’s embarrassing._ “I’m ready to dip for later.”

The line in the corner of his mouth seemed to come out whenever he smiled. Zuko found it was nice to be the cause of something beautiful for once.

“Let’s go.”

They moved quickly. Zuko knew the three of them had a past he wasn’t a part of. They moved like they knew each other to the bone, wordless and easy. What surprised him the most was that he _fit_. They were like a well-oiled machine. Or one of the fancy war contraptions his father had the mechanics make.

“That’s all of it,” Smellerbee called out. “Guard’s coming!”

He turned to see Jet on his right, mirth in his eyes. “You ready to dip?”

Zuko didn’t know if he was laughing at him or with him but he still liked that he was the reason for the look of amusement in his face. It was better than the disgust, disappointment, and mockery he was so accustomed to.

“I’m ready to dip.”

Longshot fired a rope for them to slide on with an arrow, Jet’s laugh tinkling through the air.

Maybe he _could_ be a part of this ragtag team.

* * *

“ _This_ is the Serpent’s Pass?” Sokka was beside them looking at the path.

“Isn’t it supposed to be more… wind-y and deathly, you know, like a serpent.”

“Sokka, it’s like you want it to be dangerous,” 

Toph said

“Of course, I don’t! I was just wondering why they named it Serpent’s Pass when it looks more like a misshapen twig. Or a spine with scoliosis.”

“I guess Spine with Scoliosis’ Pass doesn’t roll off the tongue like Serpent’s Pass does.”

“Maybe there’s an actual serpent! That would be so fucking cool.”

“Guys, Come look at this! It’s not in English,” Katara called them over to look at a sign on the archway. “What does it say, Sokka?”

He looked at it for a moment. “It’s in the Northern Earth Kingdom Dialect. I think it says… remove… all the wishes? That’s probably wrong.”

“It says abandon all hope,” The daughter said. Sokka smiled at her.

“But how can we do that? Hope is all we have,” Her mom cried out.

“Actually,” Aang was staring intently at the ocean, “the monks used to say that hope is nothing but a distraction. Maybe they were right.”

“Aang… what do you mean?” Katara placed her hand on his shoulder.

“Hope won’t get us into Ba Sing Se, it won’t bring Appa back to us. All we can do is focus on this path in front of us and do the best we can.”

“Okay, if you say so,” She looked unsure. She knew trusting his word was all she could do at the moment.

“They used to say the same thing about love,” Aang placed his hand on hers, a smile creeping into his features, “maybe they were wrong.”

Katara was blushing and Aang couldn’t stop staring at her.

Toph put out her tongue like something disgusting went into her mouth.

“Sokka! Sokka, help me! I’m being attacked by scorpion bees because Aang and Katara are so sickeningly sweet! Almost like honey!” She swooned into his arms.

Sokka dropped Toph to the ground, wanting to play his part well. “I am immensely sorry, Toph, for I cannot help you when I am overcome with pain! From cavities in my teeth! Because Aang and Katara are so sweet and in love, it pains me!”

“Alright, knock it off,” Katara crossed her arms, red all over. Aang was beside her, smiling and laughing along. Sokka admired the way he never lied about what he was feeling, _even if it was for his little sister._

“You guys are so immature,” Suki said.

“You say that now, but you’re laughing too, warrior,” Toph accused.

They were all having fun trading jibes at each other and for once it felt like the war was a lifetime away. They let the façade continue as they walked up the mountain. 

Sokka knew Suki was beginning to catch on. She had been staring holes into the back of his neck ever since he declined her request to walk at the back of the group together. He didn’t _want_ to avoid her. He missed her a lot. But he knew that Suki had questions he was sure he wouldn’t be able to answer so he settled for walking beside Aang at the front of the group.

They were moving along silently when a ball of fire hurtled through the air, hitting just above where they were standing. _The fire nation had spotted them_.

The mountain was crumbling, rocks falling on them. Sokka noticed that Suki was unaware that she was underneath three freefalling boulders. He pushed her out of the way and realized he had taken her place.

He ducked his head and braced for impact. 

"Sokka!" Toph screamed. A slab of earth slid from the side of the cliff, acting as a shield.

He heard the rocks fall into the water. Suki was suddenly at his side and he placed his shaking hands on her. 

"Are you okay? You have to be more careful!" He held her hand and pulled her forwards. "Toph c'mon!"

"A little 'thank you' would nice!"

"Now is not a good time!" 

They ran up the winding and narrow path until the fire nation ship was no longer in sight. 

Aang was bending a bit of air towards them, cooling them down from their torturous jog. 

"How about now?" Toph was still panting but a grin was on her lips. 

"Thanks ever so much," Sokka rolled his eyes in good nature.

After they had calmed down enough, they continued their trek. Sokka had to remind himself that they were doing this for a good cause. 

When the sun was setting, they made camp on the flattest surface they could find. Which wasn’t hard seeing as the Serpent’s Pass had neither winding and twisting corners nor sharp edges. _Seriously, why would they give it such a cool name that didn’t even make sense?_

He was suddenly struck with a wave of longing and pain when he realized the sky was clear.

_The moon was fully visible._

Sokka felt tears prickle in his eyes at the memory of Yue. It’s been a while since he saw her without any clouds to block his view. 

At the corner of his eye, he saw Suki approaching and quickly made to dry his tears.

“Hey,” She sat beside him.

“Hi.”

Neither of the two said anything for a moment.

_Awkward_. 

Sokka was beginning to feel antsy as he waited for her to say something, _anything_. 

“Beautiful moon, Huh?”

Ok, maybe he would’ve preferred awkward silence over this. 

“Yeah.” 

Sokka straightened up and looked at Yue. She truly is beautiful _. ‘Was_ ,’ He reminded himself. 

It took so much of his willpower to stave off the tears welling in his eyes.

“Look, Suki—”

“Why are you avoiding me?

“I’m not,” He said too quickly. 

“You are and I don’t understand it. First, you act like me coming was a bad idea, then you won’t even talk to me. But then you go and risk your life for me like you can’t bear to lose me!”

Sokka hung his head low. He didn’t know how to answer her question when he didn’t know the reason why he was acting like this. 

“I’m sorry,” He couldn’t think of what else to say.

“Is that it? am I supposed to forgive you now?”

“You’re right. I shouldn’t be treating you like this,” He ran his hands over his face. “I’m just so lost, Suki.”

The moon shone a light on Suki’s face. He reached out to touch it but pulled his hand back at the last moment. He couldn’t do this to her. Either of them. 

“Something… _bad_ happened at the North Pole and it was my fault. I couldn’t protect her. I tried but she said it was her duty, the reason she was alive.”

Sokka noticed that there weren’t any stars out tonight. It was just the moon, alone in the vast sky.

“I don’t know if I can bear to lose anyone else.”

Suki turned to look him in the eye. “You won’t lose me.”

“Tell me,” He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “What are you going to do after we cross the Serpent’s Pass?”

“I have to go back. But Sokka, I—”

“I understand.” He let his head rest on hers. “You have a duty to the Kyoshi Warriors, and I have a duty to this war. We’re part of something so much bigger than us and it needs us at opposite ends of the nation.”

“Then after,” She was crying now. “We can be together when the war is over. It will be everything we’ve ever wanted.”

Sokka didn’t know when he started crying as well. “I won’t make you wait for me. That’s unfair to you.”

“You and I know that’s not the case. What are you hiding from me?”

He looked at her eyes but could only see moonlight shining back at him.

“I’m scared.”

“I told you, you’re not going to lose me.”

“Not that. I’m scared I won’t be able to love you the way you deserve.” 

Suki leaned in and for a moment Sokka felt like everything would be alright. He was back at Kyoshi Island, learning the ways of its warriors again for the first time. He made the mistake of opening his eyes and saw that the light of the moon had not left her face. He quickly pulled away.

“I can’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

They sat in silence for a moment. Letting the weight of their conversation settle in their hearts, 

“Who was she?” Suki didn’t look angry. She didn’t even look heartbroken. She looked like a girl wanting to console her grieving friend.

Sokka felt immense gratitude for having her in his life. 

He told her about Tui and La and the powers they possessed. He talked about arranged marriages and a secret rendezvous over a shining lake. He told her about what it felt like to meet Yue, getting to know her, hoping for a future where he’d be able to love her, and losing her. 

Suki told him about the pressure she was under as the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors. The fear she felt for their safety. She told him of a family found in fans and make-up. A future planned out for her; one she couldn’t abandon. 

They basked in the moonlight, learning how to be friends again and Sokka knew they’d be alright.

* * *

“So, Smellerbee,” Iroh asked as he drank the tea they were able to smuggle out. “That's an unusual name for a young man.”

“Maybe it's because I'm not a man,” Smellerbee stood up, irritation set in her features. 

“I'm a girl!” 

“Oh, now I see. It's a beautiful name for a lovely girl!” Iroh called out to her retreating figure.

Longshot approached Smellerbee, gesturing at her. Zuko knew how much they could say without uttering a word. Within seconds they were able to get Smellerbee to sit back down.

Jet approached them, happily munching on a bowl of rice. “From what I’ve heard, people eat like this every night in Ba Sing Se. I can't wait to set my eyes on that fucking wall.”

“It is a magnificent sight,” Iroh said, unphased by the boy’s language.

“So, you've been there before?”

Zuko tensed at the question.

His uncle didn’t bat an eye. “Once. When I was a ... different man.”

Jet seemed to understand the regret in his eyes. “I've done some things in my past that I'm not proud of, but that's why I'm going to Ba Sing Se. I want a new beginning. A second chance.”

“That's very noble of you,” Zuko didn’t have to see his uncle to know that he was looking at him. “I believe people can change their lives if they want to. I believe in second chances.”

Jet smiled at him and he felt like maybe he could start to believe in it too.

“Li,” Jet pulled him out of his thoughts. “Can you come with me for a second?”

“Uh.” Zuko looked around for an explanation. Longshot stared at him and he knew he had to follow the freedom fighter. “Sure thing.”

They walked out onto the deck of the ship. Jet looked up at the sky holding the moon captive. “You ever wonder how many people are looking at the moon right now?”

“Not really.” He leaned against the ferry’s railing. “I don’t usually look at the moon. I can’t see it very well.”

“Is it because of your scar?”

“Mostly.”

“I’ll describe it to you.” Jet pressed closer to his side. “Well, it’s round, for one.”

That brought a chuckle out of Zuko.

“It’s also really bright. Very pale in color, like molten silver.” He pointed up at the sky and Zuko found himself staring at the boy beside him and not the moon. 

“It’s gotten a lot brighter, especially today. It’s impossible to miss.”

“That’s nice.” Zuko still wasn’t looking at the moon.

“Y’know,” Jet turned to face him, face impossibly close, “the minute that I saw your scar I knew exactly who you are.”

That brought Zuko to a screeching halt. He had forgotten that the whole world wished for his head on a platter. “You do?”

“You’re an outcast.”

He let out a breath.

“You’ve had your life turned upside down by some fire nation scum and so have I,” Jet said the words ‘fire nation’ like he couldn’t wait to spit it out of his mouth. 

“Right.” Zuko felt ridiculous. Here he was getting attached and letting his guard down when he knew deep down that Jet would hate him. The _real_ him.

“We’ve got to stick together, Li.” He clasped Zuko’s hands in his. 

Zuko had never wanted to become Li as much as he did now. 

“Join the freedom fighters.”

“I don’t know…” He pulled his hands away only for Jet to grasp it tighter.

“You’d fit right in! You’re brave and you got that look in your eyes. Like you can eat the world raw and no one would be able to stop you.”

Zuko desperately wanted to say yes. To let himself take part in something important to people. 

For once in his life, there was someone who wanted him around. Someone who saw what he could do and decided it was enough. Zuko had to make himself remember that Jet wasn’t talking to him, he was talking to Li.

Zuko could do it. He could live the rest of his life as Li, the dao sword wielder who was scorned by the Fire Nation. But he _wasn’t_ Li and he _wasn’t_ a scorned by the Fire Nation. He was a firebender. He was the banished prince, running away from his family that wanted him dead. He could not change the blood in his veins and he knew he could not make Jet see past that.

“I would’ve said yes if I were a different man,” Zuko smiled sadly.

“You saw how we worked together back there. We make a great team, you know we do!”

“Jet,” Zuko pulled his hands away. This time Jet let him, “I’m not the person you think I am.”

“Neither am I.”

“The difference between you and I is that,” Zuko turned around, getting ready to walk away from being Li, “my past always catches up with me. You can start over. You don’t need me and my baggage.”

“Li, c’mon,” He pleaded. 

“I’m sorry Jet,” Zuko said it like it was goodbye. He walked back inside knowing the goodbye was for Li and the life he could’ve had.

As he laid on his straw mat, the light of the moon stroking his face, he let himself think of “ _What if?_ ” and promised himself that would be the first and the last time. He wouldn’t let himself think of this again, lest he started to long for a life he cannot live. 

* * *

When Sokka came to, there was a wailing baby in Katara’s arms.

“What happened?”

“You passed out after seeing Katara deliver the baby, O brave knight,” Toph snickered. 

He tried to stand but the dreariness of today was starting to catch up on him.

“Figured it’d be a baby that took you down. Not the Fire Nation attacks or a giant serpent. A cute, newborn baby.”

“Shut up.”

“So, you want to go see the baby, or are you going to faint like an old lady again?”

“No, no, I'm good this time.” 

“You sure? If u do that again people might start thinking you’re the 112-year-old here”

“Haha, very funny Toph.”

“Aang, you have to come see this!” Katara called from the makeshift tent.

Sokka and Toph followed the Avatar inside. They take turns cooing at the newborn baby. When she gets to Aang, the rest of them are struck with wonder at what new life could bring.

Aang had begun to smile. 

He held the baby with reverence and hope in his eyes. It felt like _a second chance._

When it was time for goodbye, Aang pulled Katara to side, wanting to speak to her in private. 

“I guess this is it,” Suki said.

Toph went back to bend the earth tent back into place. leaving the two of them alone. 

Before she could start her farewell, Sokka went in for a hug, truly wishing that he were a different man. That he wasn't someone that didn't know life without war. _Didn’t only feel purpose on the battlefield._

“So, this is goodbye?” he asks her.

She smiled a sorry smile and Sokka wondered why he didn't feel the same kind of longing he felt when he left Kyoshi Island. It was there, faint and quiet, unlike the previous roaring wave he used to drown in. 

“Just for now, Sokka,” She said into his neck. 

At that moment, Suki wishes she was the person Sokka needed. That she wasn't tethered to her fans and makeup. She wanted to be someone he would _leave the battlefield for_ but she knew asking him to do that would be the same as asking her to abandon her warriors. 

_Unthinkable._

Suki whipped around, finally letting her tears fall as walked the path that did not end in her fairytale ending with Prince Charming. 

He knew that walking down that road with her would've ruined them. Sokka could do nothing but watch as she walked away, finally learning the difference between ' _goodbye_ ' and ' _see you_ _later'_.

* * *


	2. Balancing the Tipping Scale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little nudge is all it takes for the scales to tip over. Sokka didn't mind though. Whoever said the scales were right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg hi <3
> 
> im sorry for any mistakes i made !! i skimmed through this and edited but i couldn't read all of it. i physically cannot read this bc it pains me so much. Ive typed it out and now the words are out of my mind and no longer my responsibility. I just write down the shit i think of and now its ur problem. oh i made a typo? no i didn't <3
> 
> (this is a joke its not actually ur problem hhejhd pls point out my mistakes and I'll edit them right away !!)

“You get your boyfriend to join the freedom fighters yet?” Smellerbee slung her arms around Jet’s back, Longshot trailing behind them. 

Jet pushed her off, red-cheeked and sputtering. “He’s not my boyfriend!” 

“And we definitely believe that. Right, Longshot?” 

Longshot gave both a meaningful look.

“It really isn’t like that. Besides,” Jet’s gaze seemed to gravitate towards Li, “he said no.”

Li was talking to his uncle, an annoyed look on his face. He still had that look in his eyes and Jet knew that wasn’t something everyone had.

_He couldn’t just let him go like that._

“Well, maybe you should—"

“Try again? You’re fucking right Smellerbee."

“Jet, no! That’s not what I meant!” She tried to call out, but Jet was already on his way to Li and Iroh.

“Hey, big guy.” Jet Tapped his shoulder. 

“Jet!” Zuko turned, surprised that Jet was even talking to him and confused by his choice of words. “I’m shorter than you are.”

“No, no. I didn’t mean that.”

Zuko watched as Jet tried to explain that he wasn’t being literal when he said, ‘big guy’, finding amusement in his awkwardness.

“Is it like, ‘dip’?”

“Yeah! yeah, exactly like, ‘dip’! Not the meaning, though. I was talking about the type of… word? Sentence?”

“I understand, Jet.” Zuko laughed. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I just wanted to see you off before we go our separate ways.”

“The train only goes one way.”

“Right.” Jet rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I knew that.”

“So why are you really here?”

“Can’t I say goodbye?” he knocked their shoulders together.

“There would be no point in saying goodbye when we would be seeing each other in the city.”

“Alright, you got me.” Jet put his hands up, mimicking arrest. “I just wanted to ask you one last time.”

“I already said no.” The laughter in Zuko’s voice died down.

“Yeah but—” Jet tried.

Zuko couldn’t keep giving an answer he didn’t want to face but he knew he had to do this. He’d rather be hated for this than for something he couldn’t change. 

“I said no, Jet.” 

“Well if you just—”

“Jet!”

Several other refugees turn to gawk at them.

Zuko took a deep breath and faced the shocked boy. “Let it go. I’ve given you an answer, and I expect you to respect that.”

“Right, sorry. I won’t be bothering you anymore.”

The crestfallen look on his face ingrained in his mind. It angered Zuko so much that he was the cause of it. He walked back to his uncle to see a cup of tea in his hands. Only, the drink he complained was ‘the coldest tea in Ba Sing Se’ now had steam coming out of it.

“Uncle!” Zuko knocked the cup out of his uncle’s hand, blood running cold. “What are you doing?!” 

“I wanted good tea.” Iroh pointed to the puddle of tea on the floor

“We can’t be doing that anymore!” Zuko leaned in and whisper-shouted. “Agni, do you want us to get captured?”

“Ok, but you didn’t have to spill my tea like that.”

“You—!” 

Zuko was on the verge of exploding in flames. With no way of releasing his fire, he decided to do it another way.

“Damn you!”

Zuko’s anger calmed into irritation after his small outburst. Iroh said nothing, opting to stare at his nephew, wondering if he was being serious or joking around.

He didn’t even know if he was capable of making jokes.

The brief reprieve from Zuko’s anger didn’t last very long when Iroh began laughing like he had just heard another one of his _tea_ jokes. That was enough to spur his fire into a roaring flame again.

“Why are you laughing uncle? I am furious at you!”

“Not enough to say the ‘f word’ though,” Iroh said through fits of giggles and air quotes.

“Because it’s crude and improper!”

Iroh almost fell over laughing.

Unable to deal with his uncle’s antics, Zuko threw his hands up, groaning. 

On the other side of the train station, Jet stood trying to understand what he just witnessed. The hurt from Li’s betrayal was tamped down by the rage he felt.

 _They were Fire Nation_.

‘ _So that’s why he didn’t want to join_ ,’ Jet thought as he stepped on the train.

On the way to the city, he thought about Li.

He thought about his twin dao swords, looting the captain’s food with him, the way he handed it out to the refugees. He thought about the conversation they had with only the moon as their witness. It was unusual for him to trust someone so quickly, yet he did it with ease the moment he met him. He felt like Li burned brighter than a thousand suns. Like there was an inferno in him begging to get out. He wanted to be the one to tame it, keep it controllable.

Then he remembered breathing in the ashes of his home, the sick churning in his stomach when an arm melted to the bone cracked underfoot, and _fire_. So much of it— _too much_. 

He’d have to aim higher than taming his fire. 

“Jet? What did he say?” Smellerbee asked, Longshot beside her like always.

He knew they had nightmares too, futures of a happy life burned in front of them.

“He said no.”

He was going to make sure, this time, he would extinguish the fire.

* * *

“I just want to say, good effort out there today, Team Avatar!” Sokka raised his hand to high-five an unamused Katara.

“Enough with the ‘Team Avatar’ stuff. No matter how many times you say it, it's not going to catch on.”

“How about the Boomeraang Squad! See it's good because it's got ‘Aang’ in it. Boomer _aang._ ” 

_Nobody_ seemed to like that.

Aang grinned. “I kind of like that one.” 

Well, _almost_ nobody.

“Let's talk about this on our way into the city.” Katara rolled her eyes and dragged Toph towards the station, Aang following right behind them.

“Wow, tough crowd. What about the Aang Gang? The Gang of Aang? The G _aang_?”

“Sokka, the doors are closing!”

“Right, Coming!” He ran towards the compartment they were in.

He narrowly avoided getting smooshed by two giant slabs of rock and took a seat beside Toph. He hadn’t realized how tired he was until his eyes were closed and he was falling asleep.

The next time he opened his eyes, the massive city of Ba Sing Se was in sight. They had been holding on to the sanctuary it would provide that they had forgotten that Ba Sing Se was more than just a wall. The city behind it was beyond anything they could have ever imagined. 

Past the inner wall contained countless more houses, much quainter than he expected it to be. Rows upon rows of infrastructure, lined with various greenery, was set in front of them. People in neutral clothing walked around, greeting each other with smiles. The market was bustling and lively. Sokka recognized Water Tribe markings in some of the fabrics, but there were others that he was unfamiliar with. Green earthy tones placed beside a smattering of angry red. The vibrant yellow and orange fabrics near the others shocked him. 

Sokka felt like Ba Sing Se could hold his whole world behind its walls. 

The train screeched to a halt at the station. Sokka rushed to look at the scenery. He wasn’t used to seeing this many people live in such a colorful place. He grew up in a close-knit community and pale, white ice. The occasional blue from their clothes and red from meat but there was so much white that it was drowned out. Now they were in a city buzzing with life and so rich in culture. 

Toph didn’t seem to share his sentiment, looking extremely miserable. 

“Back in the city. Great,” she sighed.

“What's the problem? It's amazing! There are so many people! Look at the food they’re selling, doesn’t that look delicious?”

“I wouldn’t know. And besides, it's just a bunch of walls and rules. You wait, you'll get sick of it in a couple of days.”

Sokka didn’t know how he could get sick of such a place.

“Hello,” a woman with a very… _strong_ smile stood behind them, “my name is Joo Dee! I have been given the great honor of showing the Avatar around Ba Sing Se. And you must be Sokka, Katara, and Toph! Welcome to our wonderful city. Shall we get started?”

“Yes. We have information about the Fire Nation army that we need to deliver to the Earth King, immediately.”

“Great! Let's begin our tour. And then I'll show you to your new home here. I think you'll like it!” Joo Dee walked down the steps of the train station.

“Maybe you missed what I said.” Sokka tapped her shoulder, feeling annoyed. “We need to talk to the king about the War, it's important.” 

“You're in Ba Sing Se now. There is no war in Ba Sing Se. Everyone is safe here.” She smiled.

Despite their confusion over her statement, they piled into an ostrich-horse-pulled carriage and listened to her prattle on about Ba Sing Se’s cultural heritage.

“This is the Lower Ring.” Joo Dee gestured to their surroundings

“What's that wall for?” Katara asked.

“Oh, Ba Sing Se has many walls! There are the ones outside protecting us, and the ones inside, that help maintain order. The Lower Ring is where our newest arrivals live, as well as our craftsman and artisans, people that work with their hands. It's so quaint and lively!”

They pass by two men conversing in an alley. One of them was holding up a large, sharpening it to a point. The glare they gave the carriage felt deathly terrifying. 

“You do want to watch your step, though.” The smile on Joo Dee’s face looked almost nervous.

“Why do they have all these poor people blocked off in one part of the city?” Katara whispered at Aang.

He sighed. “This is why I never came here before. I always heard it was so different from the way the monks taught us to live.” 

The carriage passes through another wall. “This is the Middle Ring of Ba Sing Se, home to the financial district, shops, and restaurants, and the university.” 

“Yeah, we met a professor from the Ba Sing Se University. He took us to an ancient underground library where we discovered information about the war that is,” Sokka started to shout in her ear. “absolutely crucial for the Earth King to hear!” 

_Maybe she’ll listen to that._

“Isn't history fascinating? Look, here's one of the oldest buildings in the Middle Ring, Town Hall!” The carriage halts to a stop and Joo Dee trots on out, a smile still etched on her face. 

Sokka stared at her, even more annoyed than he was before. “Does that lady have selective hearing? She only seems to listen to every other word I say.” 

“It's called ‘being handled’. Get used to it.” Toph crossed her arms.

The continued with the tour of the city. Every time Sokka tried to talk about the Earth King she would offer up her creepy smile and talk about Ba Sing Se’s achievements as a nation. Eventually, he gave up, opting to think about where Appa might be in this large city. 

“This is your new home! I hope that you find it to your liking.”

The house Joo Dee assigned them to was identical to the other ones in the vicinity. The same sloping roof and mellow colored wooden panels lining up the walls. The house was fully furnished and looked comfortable to live in. It just seemed very stiff, much like the rest of the city. Like it was being restricted by rules and laws and _walls_. 

“How long until we can have an audience with the Earth King?”

“Your request has been sent through and will be processed in about a month! Isn’t that so quick?” Joo Dee said it like it was such an incredible feat.

“A month?!” Sokka shrieked.

“Six to eight weeks actually. Usually, it takes about 3 to 4 business months but since you are with the Avatar, we’ve decided to give it an express pass.” 

“But we don’t have a month! So much can happen in a month! The Fire Nation can attack, turtleducks might go extinct, Aang could grow a beard, I could even _fall in love_!”

“I assure you that the Dai Li will be equipped to deal with any and all attacks to Ba Sing Se, turtleducks are very abundant here and will not go extinct. However unusual, I think the Avatar would look rather fetching with a beard and, if ever you do fall in love, I would gladly provide a separate housing unit for you and your lover. Is there anything else you need to know, Sokka Water Tribe?”

“Other than the urgent need to have a word with the Earth King? Nothing else thank you.” Sokka plopped down on a nearby chair in surrender. 

“If that is all,” she walked to the door, “I’ll be going now. I’ll be around for any of your questions.”

“Yeah right,” Sokka said under his breath.

The door closed behind her and they collectively felt the weariness of the day sink in.

He threw his hands up in incredulity. “I can’t believe we have to wait a month!”

“I can’t believe you’re getting married and Aang’s gonna have to get a beard!” Toph mirrored his actions.

“I wasn’t actually serious when I said that.”

“Hey, the chances of those things happening are slim,” she gave a look that unnerved him like no other, “but never zero.”

_Okay…_

“Guys, shut up and look at this!” They scrambled to get a look at the piece of paper in Katara’s hands. “The king is having a party at the palace tonight for his pet bear!”

That seemed to confuse Aang, “You mean, platypus bear?”

“No,” Katara corrected, “it just says 'bear',”

“Certainly, you mean his pet skunk bear.” 

“Or his armadillo bear.”

“Gopher bear?”

The three of them waited for Katara to agree with any of their suggestions but she shook her head and said, “Just ... _bear_.” 

“This place is weird.” 

“It doesn’t matter, Sokka. The palace will be packed. We can sneak in with the crowd!”

“As if that would work. You common folk have no regard for manners.” Toph scoffed.

“That’s really funny coming from you,” Katara said in vexation. 

“Hey, just because I _choose_ to be a slob doesn’t mean it’s all I know. I’ll have you reminded that I come from a highly respectable noble family. I had tutors for learning about spoons and napkins.”

“Could you… teach us?” Aang asked.

“You two are hopeless, so no. _Katara_ though,” she gave her a once over, “now we might just have something to work with.”

Sokka got up and pretended to dust himself. “Right, so while you guys are dolling up, I’ll be going to the Lower Ring.”

“What for?” 

“Joo Dee said something about the new arrivals staying there. Maybe there’s someone there who’s willing to talk about … literally _anything_.”

“Alright stay safe,” Katara called out.

Sokka thought that the division between classes was absurd. All the artisans and craftsmen were crammed into the very outer part of the city. The place was narrow and crowded but was also the ring with the densest population. It was one thing to determine living positions by occupations and professions, but to provide them with minimum wage and nothing more seemed a bit unethical. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.

“This city is a prison! I don’t want to make a life here.” Zuko was holding a vaseful of Fire Lilies but he didn’t look so happy about it.

“Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not.” His uncle walked away looking very pleased with himself.

“Uncle, what does that even mean?” Zuko rushed after him. “Are you telling me to _make_ life? You want me to have a child? Uncle stop walking away I don’t want a child! Do you really want _me_ to be a _father_?” 

Sokka didn’t know what was going on. He didn’t know why Zuko was here or why he was holding flowers. He didn’t know why he was talking about fatherhood and he didn’t know what to do. All he knew was that Zuko is the enemy and he is in Ba Sing Se.

He ran back to their house in a panic.

“Guys!” He burst in. Katara had her hair in an updo and lipstick on her upper lip.

“What? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” She looked for injuries on his arms. The bracelets on her arm jangled and she inspected his clothes.

 _‘Oh,_ _right_ ,’ he thought, they have a bear birthday party to attend.

Toph chased after her blindly, not wanting the hairdo to fall apart, “Hold still Katara!”

“Sorry,” she said sheepishly while continuing her search for bruises or cuts on his body.

Her concern was nice. She had always been very nurturing and maternal towards them, even before all this avatar business. On days when he’s not thinking clearly. When being in the sky for weeks on end has taken its toll on him, if you’d have asked him what a mom was like, he probably would’ve described Katara. Still, no matter how heartwarming her actions can be, it was sometimes overbearing.

“What? No, I’m fine.” Sokka pushed his little sister away. “It’s Zuko!”

“ _He’s_ hurt?” Aang asked. He dropped the pebbles he was playing with, more confused than concerned. Typical.

“No! No, no, no. He’s here! He’s in Ba Sing Se!”

Katara’s expression of worry melted away and was replaced with one of irritation. “Right…” She went back to her seat and let Toph finish her high society hairstyle.

“Are you sure?” Toph asked, pulling Katara’s hair up in a swooping motion.

“Yes!” Sokka exclaimed, frustrated that they weren’t taking this seriously. _The nerve!_

Aang went back to his pebbles, making them dance in a circle around a droplet of water. “You were also sure back then at the ferry station,” he said absently.

“This is different! I actually _did_ _see_ Zuko this time. He was holding flowers and talking about becoming a dad!”

The answering silence made him realize, now that he said it, it did sound far-fetched.

“Sure thing.”

“Why don’t you guys believe me? He could be holding Appa captive!”

“Right, because the banished prince holding flowers in his hands and wanting to be a dad is definitely _not_ something straight from a romantic fantasy. And if he _did_ have Appa, he would have made it known so that we would take the bait,” Katara tells him.

“Fine! I’ll go take him out myself!” Sokka groans and stomps out of the house.

“Sokka come back here! You can go on your little quest _after_ we talk to the Earth King.”

He sighed knowing that he couldn’t argue with his sister because she was right. It didn’t matter though. He knew they didn’t

believe him. He walked back into their impersonal ‘home' and told himself that Zuko would have to wait.

* * *

Zuko had been serving tea and wiping down tables for the better part of the day.

He liked the work. At the palace, he was rarely allowed to help in the kitchen. Except for when mom took him down there. Those days were his favorite. Even Azula was softer, quieter on those days. After listening to her sing by the pond, the three of them would head and cook alongside the servants. Those days were filled with laughter and sticky food in their hands. Mom always made them have a bath right after.

After she left, Azula stopped coming down.

Zuko was less intelligent about that.

_(‘Father, no! I only wanted to—'_

_‘Hush, you insolent boy. Princes don’t make their own food. They wait at the royal table to be served by servants, like proper inheritors of the throne. Look at your sister! Not a day in her life has been spent mucking about in the kitchens!’_

_‘I’m sorry father.’_

_‘You should feel more than sorry! Do you not trust that the food you get will be delicious? Or, is it perhaps, you fear for your life? Do you think so badly of me that you would be wary of the food served at the table?’_

_‘No, father! that’s crazy!’_

_‘Who taught you to use improper words like that? Was it that failure Lu Ten? I told you to stop talking to him.’_

_‘But father he’s—!’_

_‘Speak only when you are asked to!’)_

He liked working in the kitchen, steeping tea and cooking dishes. What he didn’t like was serving it.

Zuko hated the customers. They threw about their orders like he was a machine. Honestly, it wasn’t hard to be nice about saying you wanted tea, it was only a few words. Adding in a ‘please’ or a ‘thank you’ wouldn’t hurt anybody.

If he answered back or made their tea hotter than it should’ve been, that was their problem. He was only doing his best like his uncle suggested he do. _Even a person’s best had its limits._

He heard the telltale ring of the entrance bell and knew he’d have to grit his teeth again and smile. “Hello! Welcome to—”

“Shut the fuck up!” A familiar voice roared throughout the walls of the tiny tea shop. “These men are _firebenders_!”

Jet was at the door, expression drawn taut. His fingers kept twitching towards his belt where Zuko recalled his hook swords lay.

_He knows._

He ignored the shaking in his legs and stepped forward, drawing the boy’s eyes on his. Using the most innocent voice he could muster, he said, “What do you mean, good sir? My uncle and I are merely refugees.”

He tells himself that he should’ve said more. He should have said something else because _Jet_ _knows_. He _finally knows_ and _of course_ he hates him.

“Cut the bullshit, Li! I know the two of you are from the Fire Nation.”

Before he could reply one of the customers asked the boy, “And where is your proof, young man?”

“I saw him! The old man? I saw Mushu heat his tea!”

“It’s pronounced Mushi,” Iroh came out from the kitchens, “and I work at a tea shop. If I served cold tea, I would lose my job in an instant, wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t care if _Moshy_ is working in a tea shop or for the Dai Li, he’s a firebender!” Jet yelled at the customers, trying to get them to see reason. “He’ll burn the whole city down and your family will die! They don’t know what it’s like to lose people you care about.”

“It’s Mushi. Notoriously easy to pronounce, one would think even a _child_ could say it. And I think my nephew and I know a great deal about living after loss.” His face was stoic, eyes clouded and devoid of its previous spark.

Zuko suddenly remembered his cousin, courageous and just.

Uncle must miss him a lot.

Losing someone you loved deeply was an incomparable hurt. It was persistent and it didn’t go away, _you just got better at ignoring it._

For a moment, he let himself grieve all that he’s ever lost.

Lu Ten, his mom, kitchen days, a happy childhood, a normal family, friends from all the private schools he was sent to and taken out of, even Azula who, along with her bad days, had some good ones.

And _himself_ , Zuko realized.

“Jet,” he stepped forward, “you should leave before things get messy.”

“Are you _threatening_ me? You know, _I could take you apart in five seconds_.” He drew his hook swords out of their sheaths.

“Yeah? Well,” Zuko did the same for his twin dao swords, “ _I can take you apart in less than that.”_

Before he knew it, they were a hurricane of swings and slashes. Circling around each other in hurried movements. Jet’s hook swords clashed loudly against his broadswords, sound rippling through the air. Jet swung down hard, hooks almost catching on Zuko. Instead, it hits the table, smashing it in half.

Jet dodged his swing while asking, “Is Li even your real name?” vehemence clear in his tone.

Zuko didn’t answer as he side-stepped his jabs. He stopped wanting to be Li the day he left him on the dock. He retaliated with swift lunges, directing them out of the shop and into the streets.

“I fucking knew it. All you are is a _liar_. Nothing about you is real, _scum_.” Each word punctuated with an attempt to maim him.

“You want to know why I lied?” He moved his swords with ease. “Why I didn’t tell you the truth? Because I knew you’d be too stubborn to try and see me differently.”

That seemed to anger Jet a great deal since he started to hack his swords at him earnestly. Each jab, each swing of the hooks carried such raw anger that Zuko felt it as he was knocked back into barrels and wagons. Zuko felt warm blood trickling down his arm and realized he had a gash traveling from his shoulder to his bicep.

“Your people killed my family! They left me for dead at _6 years old_ and you want me to spare you _compassion_? _Mercy_?! You want me to think that you’re better than them?! I see the way you wield your swords, _scum_. Don’t think you can fool me with your vigilante hero bullshit!”

“I never said I was a hero,” he panted. Zuko felt more tired than he has felt in a while. Which is saying a lot since he’s never _not_ been tired in the last _three_ _years._

Jet managed to hook his sword on the collar of his shirt and pulled him forward and upwards. “I know you aren’t.”

Before the sword on his left hand could pierce through his stomach, Zuko kicked at his legs and rolled away, a piece of his shirt left on the hooks.

To his surprise, Jet started laughing, sprawled on the floor, “To think I wanted you— _begged_ you to join the freedom fighters!”

“And I didn’t join for exactly this reason! I wanted to— I really did. You have to believe me Jet.” Zuko was out of breath and out of energy.

“Bet you thought you could terrorize this city easier without me breathing down your neck, huh?” Jet taunted as he stood to face him, swords dragging on the floor.

“I’m not _like them!_ ”

Tears fell from Jet’s eyes and at that Zuko hung his head.

“Look at me.”

“Jet…”

_“Look at me!”_

Zuko jumped in surprise and immediately went to follow the order. Years of being shouted at and conditioned to fear authority was hard to shake off.

“Look me in the eye and tell me you’re different from them. Tell me you didn’t do _fucked up shit_ for the sake of your _fucked up nation_ and I’ll let this go. I’ll say it was a misunderstanding,” Jet pleaded.

He looked at him and knew he wouldn’t be able to do it.

“Say it and I’ll leave you alone, Li.”

He made a lot of wrong choices in the three years he was hunting for the Avatar. Things he wasn’t proud of but still did anyway because he knew he needed to. Zuko looked away knowing he would never be able to say that to anyone.

“That’s what I thought.” He straightened up and raised his sword up. Before it could come down a group of Dai Li had cuffed his hands.

Zuko wondered if he would’ve been able to dodge that last hit.

Jet thrashed around trying to get away as they put him in the back of a carriage.

The crowd watching them started to applaud him, coming up to him and patting his back. Zuko snapped at them and stalked back into the tea shop. 

* * *

Katara, Toph, Aang, and Sokka were all walking home from the palace. They were tired and disheartened after that disaster of a conversation with Long Feng.

“I can’t believe that the Earth King is a figurehead,” Toph said, kicking a pebble out of the way.

“Lots of nations have that too,” Katara informed them.

“What,” Sokka scoffed, “a lie?”

“I think it’s useless to have figureheads. What are they for? Decoration?” Aang asked as he walked on his air sphere.

“Like fine china,” Sokka said

Toph perked up, “Or a cool mascot.”

“I think it’s admirable how a country can have that much dedication to…” Katara’s bracelets clinked and clanged against one another as she tried to think of an appropriate word, “… an _image_.”

They continued their debate on the importance of a figurehead to a nation until they reached the door of their appointed living quarters.

While they were getting out of their designated ‘costumes’, Sokka figured now would be as good time as any to see what Zuko was doing here. They would be needing dinner anyway.

“Hey, I’m gonna head out and buy us dinner, you guys want anything specific?”

Three heads all shook their head at him and resumed their business.

As Sokka walked out the door, Toph turned to Katara and asked, “He’s going to look for him, isn’t he?”

Katara sighed and nodded despite herself. “He’s acting a bit obsessed, don’t you think?”

“I wouldn’t say obsessed, more like,” Toph waggled her eyebrows, “ _extremely interested_.”

“Toph!” Katara exclaimed. “Don’t even joke about that! Sokka would _never_.”

“How sure are you?”

“Like a billion!”

“I was thinking a bit less than that. Does a solid twelve percent sound better to you?”

“You are insufferable! Aang, back me up here!” She turns to look at Aang who was sat in front of the window, eyes closed. He was meditating.

“What are you guys talking about?” He asked

“Toph and I were discussing—”

“—How likely it is that Sokka has a crush on Zuko.”

Katara pushed Toph’s shoulder, annoyance clear in her actions.

“I don’t think it’s likely,” he says, and Katara breathes a little easier.

“But I also don’t think it’s impossible.”

That brings the two benders to a halt. They wait patiently for the Avatar’s explanation.

“Sokka is very smart. He wouldn’t trust people easily if he didn’t think they deserved it or if they weren’t capable of change.”

Katara wondered, “Do you think Zuko could change?”

“I think he’s just like us, just walking on different paths.”

“Also,” Aang opened an eye to peek at them, “Zuko is pretty attractive.”

“—Is he _really?_ ”

“ _—Aang!_ ”

The two girls scrambled over one another, trying to pry more answers from Aang. He chuckled and went back to meditating, tuning out their proclamations of disbelief. The two huffed and returned to dismantling their intricate disguise of high society snobs.

As Sokka was walking to the market, he saw a crowd of people gathered in front of a tea shop. If he was going to find Zuko and his uncle in this giant city, he figured he could start there.

“Excuse me, could you tell me what happened here?” He asked an old man.

“There was a fight! Gosh, you should’a seen it! nev’r seen nothin’ like it!”

“Oh really? Did you happen to know why there was a fight?"

“Sure do! Was in the shop when it happened, nasty boy that was. Kept sayin’ “they’re Fire Nation!”. As if anybody gave a damn about that, right son?” The man elbowed him, expecting him to laugh along but all he could do was gape.

_They are here._

“Yeah…” He looked around to catch a glimpse of them but was bombarded with unfamiliar faces. “Say, could you tell me who this, uh… _nasty boy_ was accusing? They must’ve been scared.”

“Yeah, it was Li and his uncle Mushi! Boy was probably jealous of the _tea_. Such good tea they make,” the man reminisced. “The shop’s right over there, beside the pillock with cabbages. Can’t miss it, son.”

Sokka thanked him and walked toward the bustling tea shop was greeted by a familiar face.

“Hello, Mr. Sokka,” Iroh said with a smile. “Please,” he gestured at an empty table near the door, “have a seat.”

He sat down dumbfounded. Sokka was expecting less politeness and grins and more scowls and … _fire_ from firebender. He guessed Iroh wasn’t like his nephew.

“What would you like to have? We have jasmine tea, chamomile tea, raspberry, mint, ginger—"

“Oh! Um,” he interrupted before he could talk his ears off about _tea_ , “I’ll have whatever you recommend.”

“I’ll be back with your tea shortly.”

Sokka wondered if cactus juice tea was a thing.

When Iroh came back, he had with him a steaming pot of tea, two cups, and a kind glint in his eyes. He placed the cups in front of him and poured the tea. Sokka realized that the second cup must’ve been for him. Maybe he was thirsty?

Iroh sat down and placed his hands, crossed, overtop the rickety table. “I understand you are here to seek out my nephew?” he asked over his steaming cup.

“Yeah, um. Could you tell me where he is?” Sokka wondered.

“Why would you like to know?”

Sokka came up blank. He had been so focused on finding him that he hadn’t thought about what he’d do when he did. Maybe the Dai Li would imprison them if he reported them. Maybe he could send them back to Azula, back to the Fire Nation. He wondered what would happen if he told Iroh what he was thinking of right now.

He settled for saying, “I only want to talk to him.”

“And say what?”

Sokka knew how defensive one could get over family, but he didn’t have time to deal with half-veiled threats. “Look, Mr. Iroh, what are you two doing here?”

“No need for formalities, you may call me Iroh. Or uncle if you wish.” Iroh put his cup down. “And the same as everybody else— seeking refuge from the Fire Nation.”

“You are Fire Nation.” He quipped.

“One cannot help where they come from. The same way you cannot help but think the worst of us because of where _you_ came from.”

Sokka wanted to say he didn’t understand him. He didn’t want to understand. It felt like a betrayal to his tribe to hear the enemy out. But he did. He saw the desperation in their fire back in Omashu. The controlled power in Azula’s flames contrasting theirs. He understood it.

In a way, they were all running. But that didn’t stop him from wanting to keep his friends safe.

“I just want to make sure that you won’t be going after us.”

“Will you be threatening him?” Iroh raised his eyebrows.

“If that’s what needs to be done,” he sighed, “then yeah.”

“Very well. But just so you are aware, my nephew is very agitated right now. He’s likely to be mad enough to boil tea.”

“That’s a joke, right? You’re making a firebender joke?”

Iroh smiled, “Jokes are much like the flower that blossoms from the stem of truth.”

Sokka scoffed _‘Whatever that means,’_ he thought.

“Alright, Mr.— _Uncle._ Can you just tell me where he is so I can figure out if we’re safe from you two?”

“I give you my word that I will cause you and your friends no harm. For Zuko, however, you must be much more patient. He is just like you, only he’s walking down a road less taken.”

He was getting sick of the roundabout statements. “So, are we safe from him?”

“That is up to you. Curiosity is a wondrous thing.”

“How is it up to me?”

“You came here alone, am I not mistaken?”

Sokka nodded and at that Iroh picked up his cup and took another sip. “Then you did not come here to fight. You came here to know, to ease your curiosity.”

“Yeah, well,” he sighed, “curiosity killed the cat and all that.”

“Yes, that is very much true. Have you heard how that saying ends?”

When he shook his head no, the older man merely smiled and gazed out the window. “You might like to check the pond uphill, the one under the large willow tree. I saw him looking fondly at it earlier. I imagine he would be there to rise with the sun.” He passed him an odd-looking square with a lotus flower painted on it. “Show him this white lotus tile. He’ll know I sent you.”

“Thanks.” He grabbed the tile and stood.

Iroh watched him march away and grinned at the memory of the marching boy who never came home. The young man before him reminded him sorely of his late son so much that pain blossomed in his chest. He wiped down the table and walked back into the kitchens.

Sokka extended his gratitude to Tui and La for everything Zuko’s uncle gave him. Despite all the convoluted phrases, he was able to read in between the lines. Iroh had given him the time and a place his nephew would be at. All he had to do was be there.

 _And do what?_ He wondered.

He couldn’t help but think of the conversation they had, the odd requests the old man asked of him. Sokka felt compelled to at least _try_. To try and understand that there is more to them than the enemy. He pictured himself, red armor and fire nestled in his lungs. Would he be any different? Sokka wondered what path Zuko walked on that made him this way. If he was still walking down it or if he was nearing a crossroads.

His stomach grumbled, reminding him of his friends waiting for dinner at the upper ring. He paid the vendor and started walking towards home, away from the teashop and a reminder of the Fire Nation.

Once dinner was set, they sat cross-legged on the floor, exchanging jibes and jokes as they ate their way through hot food. When Katara asked him if he found what he was looking for, he vehemently denied it and ducked his head. He pretended not to notice the look she sent Toph. He was glad she didn’t ask if she saw them, he didn’t know how to explain what he was doing. He could handle this by himself.

That night he went to bed thinking about what Suki would think of this. He drifted off into slumber, moonlight glinting on his face, Pai Sho tile placed under his pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH thank u so much for reading !! 
> 
> I know I said that Zuko and Sokka would be talking in this chap but the chapter was getting too long and I knew I needed to split it soon. 
> 
> I loved writing Jet and Zuko's scene. I think their dynamic is so interesting !! Jet's character isn't really in the show as often as the others so i really had fun giving him motives and inner monologues.
> 
> This took longer for me to upload than I want to think about because I just suddenly had no time to write because of school !! Most of this was written at like 1 am or in between my classes (sometimes during) and every other possible break I could take hehe. The next chapter is already being written so expect a bit of a shorter wait?? or don't lmao. don't expect bc I will most likely disappoint bc my schedule is a nightmare <33 
> 
> anyway !! thank u so much for reading this ilysm !! leave a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed it!! I would love to hear from you <333
> 
> see you in the next chapter <3


	3. Pai Sho and Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything can be solved with tea. But it’s a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this took forever and is kind of a meh chapter life was a bit of a mess for a while :)) i don't have a beta so the mistakes u see are mine. thank u for reading !

Sokka had his feet submerged in water, feeling the waves of the ocean crash against his ankles. He felt the serenity in the water reflect onto him and smiled. He didn’t know peace like this could exist.

  
He stood there, wading in the water, for what seemed like hours, until he felt the water bubble under his feet.

  
He felt panic rise in his throat, tasting of bile. He thrashed and kicked at the water, now increasing in temperature. He felt it ebb and flow until movement ceased and he was left protesting against air.  
Where did all the water go?

  
He stared out into the horizon and saw the shoreline recede. He remembered reading about this once when he was but a boy. How, in centuries before theirs, when blood of the nations had not been spilled on foreign soil, there had been a great shaking in the Earth. An earthbender had gotten into an argument with one of the council members of the Fire Nation. What for, he could not recall. All Sokka knew was their rage shook the very land the Fire Lord’s throne had sat on. Not long after, the people residing near the shoreline had been washed away by a flood that came out of nowhere.

  
They called it a tsunami.

  
He felt himself running but he was planted firm on the sand. His feet were sinking. He clawed at the wet mush, desperate to get out but to no avail.

  
“Katara!” he called out, “Aang! Toph!”

  
No one answered.

  
He tried again several times until he felt a cold hand grip his ankle. Sokka looked down to see his sister, pale and bloodless, looking at him in disgust.

  
“It’s your fault,” she cried. “I’m dead because of you. You couldn’t save me. You couldn’t save any of us.”  
At that he felt several more hands paw at his legs, all cold and tight-gripped. He braved a peek and wished he stayed in the comfort of cowardice.

  
At his feet laid Aang, eyes glowing yet dulled all the same. “Your fault,” he stated. He must’ve died in the Avatar state.

  
“Weakling,” Toph spat. She looked relatively normal until he glanced at her feet. Or the lack of them. In its place were two bloody stumps. She was grappling at his legs with no target in sight and Sokka knew she was truly blind.

  
He was about to say something to deny their accusations until he heard a voice he had not thought about since his that day on the ice, war ships sailing away.

  
“You weren’t fast enough,” said his mother. Unlike the others she looked like she had been dead for some time. Parts of her skin that weren’t a sickly shade of gray were charred black. She had fire blazing on her skin— fire that should’ve gone out years ago. She looked him in the eye. “Stupid boy. You don’t have any power in you.”

  
Try as he might, no amount of prying got their hands off him. He heard the wave approaching him. He tried running but that resulted in him falling face first and with a mouthful of sand.

  
“My boy.” Hakoda’s voice rang in his ears.

  
“Dad?” Sokka asked. He stared at the man in front of him and had his fears confirmed. He killed him too. He had a green hue to his skin, like a coating of moss, various sea life clinging to his clothes. He drowned at sea and it was Sokka’s fault.

  
“You disappoint me. You will never become the warrior you are supposed to be. You’re nothing but a weak child.”

  
It was all he could do not to break down crying. He was nearing that point when he felt a hand, heavy and alive, placed on his shoulder. Sokka whipped around to see Suki standing in front of him. She was in her usual Kyoshi armor, armed with her fans and make-up.

“What are you doing standing there? C’mon the food’s getting cold!” She beckoned him to the edge of a cliff where a meal was laid out on top of a blanket.

  
_Why was he suddenly on a cliff?_

  
“Where are we?” He asked, looking more at the lack of dead bodies at his feet than he was at her.  
“On our date, silly!” she grinned.

  
He noticed the sudden stillness in the wind, the quiet in the air. He was on a cliff. He was on a date with Suki. The people he killed were gone. He wasn’t going to die from a tsunami.

  
He walked towards the Kyoshi warrior. He felt dread in his nerves when she had tear tracks staining her cheeks.

  
“…Suki?” He approached her.

  
She had her face contorted in pain. “Was I not enough?”

  
He was rendered silent, not knowing what to say.

  
“Should I have been more like her?”

  
“Suki—”

  
“Maybe you would love me better dead.”

  
Before he could say anything, she started to melt onto the grass. Soon, she was nothing but a puddle of white face paint.

  
Sokka held down the contents of his stomach as he watched the Suki-puddle trickle over the edge of the cliff. He rushed towards it, wanting to know where she was falling into. To his surprise, the puddle of white was sitting on top of calm waters.

Her voice echoed in his head. ‘ _Maybe when I’m dead like her…_ ’

  
He felt the world spin and fell off balance. He opened his eyes to look up at the night sky.

  
There were two moons in the sky.

  
“ _Who’s next?_ ” the planetoid asked him.

  
_“Who’s next?”_

  
Sokka started running.

  
_“Who’s next?”_

  
_“Who’s next?”_

  
He didn’t know where he was running to, only that he wanted to be away from the moons.

  
_“Who’s next?”_

  
_“Who’s next?”_

  
Each echo timed along with the pounding of his heart.

  
“Who’s next Sokka? Sokka? Sokka! Sokka wake up!”

  
He bolted upwards, arms thrashing about.

  
It was just a nightmare.

  
Katara sat at his side, concern in her eyes. He laid back down and screwed his eyes shut trying to get rid of the memory of sister dead and angry at him.

  
“Sorry,” Sokka grumbled, “jus’ a nightmare. Go back to sleep.”

  
“Sokka the sun’s already up.”

  
He felt cold dread run through his skin at the realization that he was late. Zuko was probably at the hill right now. He shot up and tried to hide the fact that he was rushing. He didn’t want Katara questioning him on what he was doing. For one, he didn’t know for himself what this was, much less why he was doing it. He could easily have called the authorities on the two firebenders, he could’ve told Katara or Aang or Toph or anyone that would listen that behind the walls of Ba Sing Se were known enemies. He could’ve done a multitude of things, but he didn’t. He didn’t do any of that and he didn’t know why. Instead, he got ready, walked out the door, and told them he was going for a walk.

  
When he reached the willow tree, he was struck by the beauty of it all. It was tall, branches reaching up impossibly high, leaves in the midst of metamorphosis. The grass it was planted on was green and showered with flowers. This place seemed to jump out of one of those paintings they’d seen hung proudly at the walls of the Palace. It was beautiful. But the thing Sokka noticed—the thing that stuck out the most—was the absence of a certain firebender.

  
Sokka felt sudden relief embrace him and felt conflicted at that. He knew he needed to have a word with Zuko as soon as possible but he’d be willing to delay it a few hours. There was a certain pit that settled in his stomach at the thought of an interaction with him. He remembered their first meeting, gearing for a fight on the ramp to his battleship. It was easy being on different sides and hating each other. The idea of being friendly—of being civil— with someone who had been hunting them from the very beginning made his head turn. It felt like betrayal.

  
Sokka went to sit under the shade of the willow tree, tired of being sorry for himself and his lack of abilities. He stared at the pond in front of him and let himself bask in the simplicity of it all. The water, the leaves, the turtleducks waddling around. They didn’t have to worry about this war and how useless they were without any bending. A particularly small turtleduck had stumbled its way onto his lap. He reached for it and immediately it nuzzled against his hand, finding comfort in the heat it brought. Sokka couldn’t stop the smile growing on his face.

  
“What are you doing here?”

  
Sokka jumped and held the turtleduck closer to his chest. He looked up to see the banished prince looking at him in disdain.

  
“I said what are you doing here, Water tribe? And why are you holding Quack?” Zuko asked.  
Sokka had never wanted to laugh more than he did now but he knew that wouldn’t end well for him. So instead, he drew up the most serious expression he could and asked, “Quack?”  
“The turtleduck. Her name’s Quack.”

  
Sokka looked down at the animal sleeping peacefully in his hands, a smirk playing on his lips. “Did you name her that?”

  
“What does it matter?”

  
“You didn’t answer my question.”

  
“You didn’t answer mine.”

  
“I came looking for you actually.” Zuko stilled and Sokka prided himself on being able to shock the firebender.

  
Once he got over his surprise, he came marching to the willow tree. He stopped right in front of Sokka and sneered down at him. “I don’t want anything to do with you.”

  
Sokka placed Quack back on the ground and stood up. “I’m not here to talk about me,” he said, now standing face to face with him.

  
Realization colored Zuko’s face. “You’re here with the Avatar.”

  
He panicked when Zuko turned and started walking away from him. “Wait! Hear me out first,” he called out in desperation.

  
Zuko ignored him and continued his angry trek down the hill. Sokka caught up to him and grabbed his arm.  
Zuko shook his hand off, “Get away from me,” he glared.

  
“Listen up, Princess,” Sokka grabbed his arm, holding him in place, “I need to talk to you and I don’t care if you don’t want to listen; I’ll make you listen.”

  
For a moment it seemed like Zuko was going to cooperate. But it was just Sokka’s luck that he decided not to and instead placed his hands on his wrists and shoved him hard. Hard enough that Sokka lost balance and fell backward onto the grass. He towered over him, glaring fucking knives into Sokka’s skull. “Shove it, Water tribe,” he spat.

  
Sokka got up and brushed the grass from his clothes. He wouldn’t let him walk away like that. His blood boiled in anger as he followed the infuriating bastard. “You might want to get more creative with your insults, jerkbender!” Sokka screamed at the retreating back of the most annoying piece of work he has ever had the pleasure to meet. When he didn’t turn around, he taunted, “You’re a fucking coward! And an idiot! You don’t even know where Aang is!”

  
“I know that I’ll find him and take him back to my father no matter what it takes!” Zuko screamed.  
“Right. Still eager to please daddy, aren’t you?” He knew he struck a nerve because Zuko turned around and he could swear that steam was coming out of his ears. He entertained the idea of cracking an egg over his head for a moment, wondering how quickly it would cook. He was shaken from his thought—literally—when Zuko walked the distance between them and seized his collar. Suddenly, he was thankful for the few inches he had on the banished prince.

  
Zuko bared his teeth and gritted out, “Shut your mouth.”

  
Sokka didn’t know he was falling until he was on the ground, tumbling around with a very angry firebender. Hands were on his neck, around his arms, pushing at his chest, and Sokka was no better. He rolled them around trying to restrain Zuko, to get him to listen for fuck’s sake, but it was all for naught. The firebender was more skilled at hand-to-hand combat than he was and it wasn’t long before he had Sokka on his stomach, his knees surrounding the small of his back, left hand holding his arms down, right raised high and ready to strike.

  
Sokka felt a tiny square digging into his side and felt frustration at himself because _how the fuck had he let it get to this?_

  
Before Zuko could bring down his arm, Sokka screamed, “White lotus!”

  
“What did you just say?” Zuko faltered and his unrelenting grip on his arms loosened “What did you say?” he asked again when the boy underneath him remained silent.

  
“Let me go and I’ll tell you.”

  
“Your mouth is functioning just fine in this position.”

  
Sokka breathed in and breathed out. He was getting fed up with him. “I won’t tell you until you let me go,” He grumbled.

  
Zuko contemplated a bit before giving his arms one last harsh grip. “Fine,” he said while pushing himself off of him. “Now speak, fish boy.”

  
Sokka narrowed his eyes. “I’m gonna ignore that and tell you what you need to know even if I really wanna punch you in the mouth.” He pushed himself into a sitting position.

  
Zuko rolled his eyes. “Get to the point.”

  
Sokka had mischief in his eyes, eyebrow raised, annoyance so apparent it was almost written on his skin. Zuko’s answering glare only set out to annoy him further. He turned his gaze away, handing him the Pai Sho tile.

  
Sokka stared at the boy in front of him and took him in. He had a scar that started from just below the high of his cheekbone, all the way behind his ear. His hair was longer now, cropped up front and at the sides. His apron, which Sokka hadn’t noticed, was tied tightly at his waist. It was ratty and looked like a washing would do it some good. He had dark eyebags, tattered clothes and an ugly sneer clouding his face and yet Sokka thought he looked every bit of the Prince he was.

  
Realizing he had been staring, he hastily turned his attention to the grass.  
Zuko had his hands on his hips, fingers wrapped around the tiny wooden square. “Look, if this is just some—"

  
“I was with your uncle yesterday.” Sokka looked up to see Zuko shuffling his feet. He made a patting motion on the patch of grass beside him. He was given a look of suspicion before Zuko sat down on the space beside him.

  
“He gave me tea and told me weird, cryptic… poem… things,” Sokka shared. “He told me to talk to you.”

  
“Is that why you’re here? For tea and conversations? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we aren’t exactly on the same side.” Zuko let out a scoff. “Tell me why I shouldn’t just take you and your precious little Avatar back to the Fire Nation so we can end this war”

  
“Your father is the reason we’re even fighting this war in the first place,” Sokka countered.

  
“Say what you want but my father is a good Firelord.”

  
“Yeah, right,” He said, holding in a laugh.

  
Zuko whirled around to face him, teeth bared. “My father has conquered countless towns and cities in almost every nation, he had hundreds of men trained to be soldiers, battled against some of the strongest warriors, and came out alive and victorious! Everything he’s done under his reign has been for the good of the Fire Nation and nothing a lowly Water Tribe peasant like you can say will disprove that!” Zuko was panting at the end of it, worked up and furious at the boy beside him.

  
Sokka could almost feel the anger emanating from him. Like heat from a fire, coals burning hot and red all over. It fueled his own and before he knew it, he was leaning forward, vexation in the creases of his face, and saying, “Are you hearing yourself? You say that like it’s something to be proud of. Your father didn’t do any of that to make the nation powerful, he did that so he could be the leader of a powerful nation!”

“My father—!” 

  
“—is a greedy dictator! Why do you think no one is allowed to go against his word or to speak out of turn? Every land he even thinks of conquering is better off dead. He imprisons every bender except firebenders because he knows that they have power and he knows they would rather give up their bending than use it to serve him!” And just because he knew how to rile him up, he says, “He’s a shit person and shit leader and for all I know he’s a shit father too, I mean, look how you turned out.”

  
Zuko stood up in a flurry of anger, tattered, tea-stained apron swishing about. “You don’t know the first thing about me or my father!”

  
“I know that he’s a piece shit and so are you!”

  
“You don’t get to decide who I am based on my father! I may be his son, but I am far from being anything close to him.”

  
“I bet you’d like to be, right?” Sokka gripped at the grass so he could hold back from throwing a punch. “To be the next to dictate which nations get to live and which perish under your reign? Your father has caused the death of so many people it’s disgusting that you’re proud of it. He treats people like commodities, like fucking chess pieces for his stupid war!”

  
“You think I don’t know that? I’ve been exiled! I’m a fugitive! I can’t see my old friends or my tutors. I can barely remember what my room looks like. I’ve been on a warship more than I’ve been on land in years that standing still feels wrong.” Zuko gives him a hard glare. “I hate the war my father has created as much as you do but I cannot hate my father for doing what he thinks is best for the Nation. He still is my father.”  
Sokka wondered what he would’ve done if his father were doing this. He decides that it doesn’t matter and looks away. “That makes you just as bad. Maybe even worse.”

  
The two boys sat in silence, Quack crossing the space between them. Odd that an animal could walk across the gap he couldn’t even begin to touch. Sokka felt a misplaced stab of jealousy for the turtleduck.

  
“We obviously can’t see eye to eye. I don’t see the point in trying.” Zuko slouched in resignation.

  
For some reason, that statement grated on his nerves more than it should’ve. “I’m not doing this for you and I’m sure as hell not doing it for myself. I’m doing this for Aang.” A beat, then, “And your uncle.”

  
Sokka turned to face the risen sun. “He told me to talk to you. Said you were just like me.”

  
“I’m nothing like you,” he muttered, eyes trained on the horizon

  
“Fuck yeah you aren’t. But that isn’t reason enough to get you thrown in jail.” Sokka turned to face the right side of Zuko’s face.

  
“Would you? Have me ‘thrown in jail’, that is.”

  
“If you were after us, yeah I would’ve.”

  
“And now?”

  
“That’s still up for debate.” Sokka pretended he didn’t see the amusement in Zuko’s face. Pretended he didn’t feel pleased that he had been the cause of that.

  
“How would you even have managed that?”

  
“I have connections to the Earth King.” A massive lie, but he felt it was fair given that he was negotiating the life of one of his best friends to the son of the Firelord.

  
“By connections you mean the Avatar,” Zuko dead-panned.

  
“You’d be surprised just how far name-dropping gets you.”

  
“I’m sure you’ve exploited that for reasons you deemed justified.”

  
“Between you and your dad and your sister, there’s a lot of justification behind our reasons,” He retaliated, the previous burn of contempt alarmingly not there.

  
Zuko had suddenly run out of words to say. Sokka would’ve had a quip about that but then he saw the look on his face. His forehead was creased in contemplation, eyes trained on the grass beneath his feet.

  
“I’ll do it,” he said suddenly. “I’ll stay away from him. For my uncle. And because I don’t particularly care for being holed up in a prison cell.”

  
“Thank you.” He let out a breath. “Even if your reasons are selfish.”

  
“It’s not selfish to prefer to live comfortably.”

  
“It's a privilege worthy of a prince.”

  
“It’s self-preservation.”

  
They lapsed into mutual silence, neither one willing to breach the topic any longer.

  
Quack was... well, quacking and Zuko scooped her up into his hands. The movement of his clothing caught his attention. His eyes were specifically drawn to his sleeve, seeping red.

  
“Is that blood?” Sokka asked, gaze trained on the gash adorning Zuko’s upper arm. “Are you bleeding?”  
“What I’m not— oh. I seem to have opened my wound,” he said in an eerily calm voice that Sokka could do nothing but gape. Zuko shrugged his shoulder in an abortive manner, like bleeding out was nothing to him— like he had felt far worse torment than the sting of a measly little cut.

  
“You’re ridiculous.” Sokka shook his head and stood, grabbing Zuko’s good arm. “C’mon.”

  
He wasn’t partial to being manhandled like this, especially with no warning and from someone he had considered an enemy all but twenty minutes ago. He thrashed around saying, “Unhand me, you uncouth cretin! You plebeian! Where are you taking me?”

  
“To your uncle, dimwit,” he rolled his eyes, “Stop moving, you’ll drop Quack. Also, you’re bleeding, and I don’t have any bandages.”

  
“What makes you think this is any of your business?”

  
“Just shut up and accept my help, Your Majesty.”

  
Despite himself, Zuko found that his arm was hurting. The concern his unexpected, newly found ally was offering wasn’t entirely unfounded and he was grateful for it. Though he refused to let himself be dragged around like a manservant. Especially not by the likes of him. Zuko walked briskly and with purpose, leading Sokka back to the hovel he now called home.

  
The minute they stepped in, a little bell by the door alerted Iroh of their presence. “Ah, Zuko! I see you’ve met our new friend.”

  
Zuko and Sokka shared a look. “We’re not friends,” they grumbled in unison.

  
Iroh clicked his tongue at them. “Nonsense. Why else would you bring him home?” he turned to Sokka and asked, “I take it you’re here for tea?”

  
“Um. I’m here for bandages? Zuko has a cut.” He gestured to Zuko’s left arm, extending his arm a bit from where he was at the boy’s right side. Sokka wasn’t sure why Zuko went out of his way to keep him on his right. He guessed it had to do with his scar.

  
“How did you get that?” Iroh asked, concern for his nephew apparent in his voice.  
“It was from yesterday at the shop, remember? It was healing well until this fool,” he glared at the boy at his side, “tackled me to the ground like the unmannered ape that he is.”

  
“Excuse me, which one of us had the other pinned to the ground against their will?”

  
“All because you—"

  
“Boys,” Iroh interrupted. The two broke their gaze and shuffled their feet sheepishly.

  
“We have some in the bathroom. Hold on, I’ll get it for you. Have a seat.” Iroh pulled out a tiny pillow for him to sit on. “Zuko, serve him tea,” Iroh ordered.

  
He grabbed the steaming pot of already steeped tea and poured him a glass. The sound of tea swishing around the tiny ceramic cup filled the air.

  
Sokka felt so out of place in the home of the two Fire Nation fugitives. Zuko placed the teacup in front of him and sat on the other side of the table, back ramrod straight. Neither of them said a word.

  
Sokka crossed his hands overtop the table, then brought it down to his sides. Where the fuck do your hands go when you’re attempting a conversation with your not-enemy-but-also-not-friend?

  
He placed his arms decidedly on his lap and spoke, “So… you live behind the tea shop?”

  
“The place came with the job,” Zuko said curtly.

  
Silence permeated the air once more. Sokka was certain that if he had to deal with this awkwardness for a moment longer, he would commit a crime so grave he’d be jailed on the spot.

  
Luckily, Zuko felt similarly, as he thumbed the hem of his tunic. He coughed and said, “‘Your Highness,’” eyes trained on the fraying threads.

  
“What?”

  
“Earlier you said, ‘Your Majesty’.” He raised his head in defiance. “I’m not my father.”

  
“What I’m getting here is that you want to be called ‘Your Highness’,” Sokka teased.

  
This an exasperated sigh out of the scarred boy, “‘Your Highness’ is the proper term to address a prince.”

  
“Even for a banished one?” Sokka had meant it as a joke but the sudden dullness in the firebender’s golden eyes told him that Zuko didn’t see it as so.

  
“Never mind,” He muttered. “I was only making conversation.”

  
“No, I— I hadn’t meant—”

  
“No, it’s fine. It would do me well to remember my place.”

  
Zuko brought his cup up to his mouth and drank, more to occupy his mouth than to quench his thirst. Sokka felt the need to apologize, to take the cup out his hands and make him look at him just so he could see the alchemy of emotions in his eyes again. He needed to stand, to sit, to walk around and jump, he needed to move, and he didn’t know why. All he knew was that the creases around Zuko’s forehead didn’t belong there and the knowledge that he was the one to put it there made him restless.

  
He opened his mouth, apology almost tumbling out, but Iroh came back with the bandages and Sokka settled to ignore the feeling bubbling behind his ribcage.

  
“Here’s the bandages. And some ointment to prevent infection” Iroh handed it over to Sokka, much to his confusion.

  
“I’m going out to buy breakfast. You two stay here,” he said, grabbing a handful of coins and shoving it into his pockets.

  
Sokka placed the bottle of ointment and bandages down on the table, “I better get going too.”  
“Nonsense. I’m sure Zuko could use the company. Right, Zuko?”

  
“I can hardly make him stay where he doesn’t want to be,” he said, sounding completely put off.

  
“It’s okay,” Sokka remarked, not wanting to cause an argument. “I think my sister and my friends will be looking for me soon.”

  
“You can stay for a while longer, Sokka. You are welcome here all the time.” Iroh offered him a smile. “Besides, it’s only nine in the morning. Stay for breakfast at least.”

  
“Alright... Sure. I’ll stay for a bit,” Sokka conceded.

  
“Excellent! I’ll be back shortly. Do be mindful of your manners, Zuko. He’s a guest here— a very welcome one, at that.”

  
Zuko rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes. I will, uncle. Now go and buy us breakfast, old man,” Zuko said, mirth in his tone.

  
His uncle left, muttering about ‘kids these days’ under his breath.

  
Zuko and Sokka were now hyper-aware of their… aloneness, for lack of a better word. Nothing but a table, ointment, bandages, and the unbearable awkwardness of silence between them. He remembered being in this same scenario yesterday— a lifetime ago. Only, then, talking to him was a very wise firebender that insisted Sokka call him uncle instead of the stuck-up prince sitting in front of him.

  
Sokka wondered how he had reached this point. He spared him a glance and wondered if they could ever be friends. Or even acquaintances. Maybe they’d get there someday. Would Zuko be ok with that? Would he be ok with that? Sokka decided it didn’t matter. They’d never get there if he never tried.

  
He opened his mouth to say something but found that he didn’t have the words.

  
Never mind, he thought, he’d try again later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello thank you again for reading this even if my chapters take forever to churn out. I’m really glad that my writing is being read by people :DD  
> so here it is! their first meeting! I’ll admit I had a hard time figuring out the dialogue in this chapter because of how complex their situation is and having to follow the plot I have in mind. I had to find a common ground between Zuko desperately wanting his father’s approval yet not wanting to be imprisoned by the dai li and Sokka wanting to keep Aang safe but also wanting to know more about Zuko and his uncle. In the process, I realized I kinda gave Zuko a sort of draco voice ?? and I don’t mean that Zuko is British here (despite how absurdly funny that is to me) but more of the way they talk? The whole spoiled royal heir forced to fight for a cause they don’t believe in to get their father’s love dynamic they both had going on was mainly what I had in mind while writing Zuko’s lines. Sokka’s lines came naturally as I wrote it.
> 
> Also, the dream sokka had— or at least the first part— was kinda inspired by the dream/hallucination tony had of steve and the avengers in age of ultron (you know which scene im talking about). 
> 
> The “who’s next?” question was to indicate that he would be less likely to let his guard down and fall in love because he’s afraid he’ll lose them. I wanted to incorporate his fears and doubts about himself and use it as a motivator to seek out Zuko (which we may or may not see in the future chapters idk) so the dream was the perfect way to do it. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading !! I would love to hear feedback!


	4. Given the Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many things are possible when given the chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey im back :D again no beta so all mistakes are mine !! this ones super short hehe

Katara and Aang had been practicing precision bending all morning. They were using a pitcher of water and three cups, each needing to be filled with a specific amount of water. She was in the middle of transferring the water from the pitcher to the second cup when Toph barged in the room, door slamming behind her.

“Spirits, Toph!” Katara startled, rolling her eyes as she returned her attention to the cups, now empty. She didn’t need to look at Aang to know where all the water had gone.

“Sorry,” she offered, moving the cups away from him. What that did, she didn’t exactly know, seeing as the Avatar was already sopping wet, but it eased her mind to keep the water away from him. “But at least now you can practice drying yourself without using airbending!”

“Why would I need to learn that?” the avatar asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Because.”

“…Because?”

“Because it’s useful.” Katara replied. Aang opened his mouth to ask another question but the rigidness in the waterbender’s posture told him she wouldn’t appreciate that so he let the question die in his mouth before it could reach past his lips.

“Hey, sugar queen. Twinkle toes. Where’d the ol’ fartbender go?” Toph asked as she sat down beside them.

“Yeah, Katara. I haven’t seen him all morning.”

“I don’t… I don’t actually know where he went.” Two pairs of curious eyes waited for her to elaborate. “He was having a really bad nightmare when I woke him up. Then he kept muttering about how he was late and that he needed to go for a walk.”

“Late for what?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t say where, just that he needed to go.”

Aang moved the water sliding down his skin and soaking in his robes back to the cup nearest him. “Maybe he went on a date?”

“We’ve only been here for a few days and he hasn’t said anything about having a date. Besides, you know how he gets when he finds someone new to woo.”

“‘Oh, Katara! You’ll never believe it! I just saw the most gorgeous human being in all of existence! You  _ have to _ plan our wedding Katara, it has to be the best in all of the nations!’” Toph mocked in a high, shrill voice that sounded nothing like the warrior but still, helped a laugh out of all of them.

“Do you guys remember Selene? He would not shut up about her nose.”

“What about Andy? He liked them a lot right?”

“Sokka was the worst about William. Kept going on and on about his eyes.”

The three spent a moment laughing at the antics of their bestfriend.

Aang stilled, as if the thought he just had held him in place. “You think that he really did see Zuko?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe he did and we were assholes to tell him he was paranoid. But what does it have to do with his little morning stroll?” Toph stomped her fist on the ground, causing a rock the size of her fist to jump into her hand.

“Maybe he wanted to find him? I never really know what’s going on inside his head.” Katara was focused on placing the water from the cups back into the pitcher when she noticed the one Aang was filling up. “Hey, that’s pretty good Aang.”

“Thanks,” he blushed, bending the last of the water on him into the brimming cup. “And yeah. Maybe he did want to find him.”

“And do what? Have him arrested?” Toph molded the rock in her hands. It was starting to look a bit like a teacup. Or a very short and uneven flower vase.

“Maybe he was figuring out a way to turn him in.”

“Maybe he wanted to find him so he could punch him in the guts!”

The three of them laughed at the ridiculousness of the statement. Still, it did nothing to alleviate their worry about their trusted companion.

* * *

Sokka wasn’t a very violent person, but he could not shake the feeling of wanting to punch Zuko in the guts.

He watched as Zuko shoved the fabric of his sleeve upward to make way for the bandage. He wasn’t having any luck. In fact, he was failing spectacularly. 

Sokka decided to take pity on him. “Do you want me to help you?”

“I don’t need your help.”

“I know. I’m still offering though.”

Zuko frowned petulantly, sunlight carding through his hair, and Sokka felt a stab of amusement from watching him. He never would’ve guessed that the aggressively earnest firebender that had been chasing them for the better part of a year was capable of pouting like a child. The idea was beyond comical to him.

His eyes trailed to the gash on his arm, barely seen from the sleeve Zuko had bunched up. “I think you, um, need to wrap it tighter,” He rushed out. “Here, let me.” Sokka reached for his wounded arm just as he jerked out of reach.

“You don’t need to coddle me. I know how to dress a wound.”

“You’re doing an extremely spectacular job at it.”

Zuko whipped around, eyes blazing in indignation, “I have been dealing with my own wounds since I was a child, with no help or assistance from anyone. I’m not going to start needing help from you.”

“Right,” he muttered. The image of a young Zuko—of a young _anybody_ —having to learn how to apply bandages on himself zapped all the irritation out of his body, a wave of shame and sadness taking its place. He needed to be more careful about the words he was saying, especially now that it seemed he’d be seeing more of the young firebender.

Zuko let out a sigh, arms falling dejectedly at his side. “Why do you bother, water tribe?”

“Why does it matter to you so much that I’m from the Water Tribe, fire nation?”

“Answer my question.”

“Answer mine.”

“I asked first.”

“I won’t answer until you do.”

Zuko sighed dejectedly, fingers playing with the bandages. “I don’t care if you’re from the Water Tribe. It’s you that I’m so thrown off by. You’re just so…  _ water tribe. _ ”

“And you’re very Fire Nation!”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it!”

Sokka looked in his eyes and, for the first time, did not see any of the blazing fire that fueled their arguments. Something about it made him still. “Then what do you mean, Your Highness?"

“I just mean…” Zuko brought his gaze down to the floor “Water. You’re like water.”

“I don’t have time for your roundabout insults, jerkbender.”

“I’m not insulting you! Spirits, I’m being utterly serious right now!” Zuko snapped. “If you would just let me speak for a minute, Agni, I would get to my damn point!” He pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, letting out a breath “ _ To  _ my point. I didn’t mean to use that word, I apologize.”

Sokka felt himself burn in humiliation. Here he was picking fights when Zuko was doing his best in trying to be civil. “No, no. It’s alright. I’m the one who should be sorry. You can continue.”

Zuko started doing his bandages up again. “You just go with things. You always have things planned out and even when I come in and ruin those plans you just make new ones out of thin air. Nothing rattles you.” He said quietly, almost unsure. “Now you answer mine.”

“Can I?” Sokka pointed at his arm. He waited in silence until the bundle of bandages were shoved in his hands by an exasperated looking Zuko. He grabbed it, barely fighting down the smile on his face. He didn’t even know why he was smiling. Maybe it was because Zuko listened to him? Was it because he was admitting that he needed help?  _ Never mind that _ , he thought.

“I bother… because I don’t think you don’t want this. Not really.” He rubbed ointment around the gash before wrapping it in gauze. “Capturing Aang, fighting a war. I don’t think you really want any of this to happen.”

“What makes you think that?”

“I mean,” he chuckled, “you aren’t your father.” Sokka thought that he shouldn’t be allowed to make jokes anymore since each one he made seemed to upset Zuko even further.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing! I just meant that—that he…”

“That he… what? That he’s an evil dictator who doesn’t care about the nation he’s leading?”

_ Yes. _ “No. No! That’s not what I meant.”

Zuko narrowed his eyes at him and pushed himself up, unfinished bandages unfurling at his arm.

Sokka scrambled to get him to stay. “Wait I didn’t mean—”

“Yes, you did.”

They stayed silent for a moment. Challenging stares replaced the would-be words to come out of Zuko’s mouth and Sokka felt it impossible to fix this now.

“Look,” Zuko sighed, “I know you don’t like me or my father. I don’t particularly love us either. But he still is my father and I have to believe that what he’s doing is for the betterment of the Fire Nation. Or else I won’t…” Zuko looked away, troubled.

“I get it, man. I’m sorry. If it were my dad—”

“It doesn’t matter, Sokka.”

Sokka is dumbstruck at the look Zuko has on his face. He would’ve said something else, something to explain that he understands that Zuko isn’t his father and that he will never ever open his stupid mouth again but the realization that Zuko had called him ‘Sokka’ froze him in place.

_ He called me by my name. _

Just as he found the courage and the words (no doubt something stupid and insulting, once again) to try and fix this, Iroh appeared at the doorway, arms carrying woven baskets filled with food.

“Who’s hungry!”

Zuko rolled his eyes and walked away. Iroh sent a questioning glance at Sokka only for the boy to respond by slumping on the table and burying his head in his arms.

Sokka looks out and sees that the sun hasn’t moved at all. This was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! before anyone says anything i havent read and/or watched cmbyn and the slight reference to the title was not intentional. This was actually two different chapters that I had to combine and shorten because it felt very flat separately. And yes I wrote sokka in as pansexual bc I like to project. next update will probably take a while im sorry about that see you guys soon and thank you so much for your patience :(( kudos and feedback are appreciated <33

**Author's Note:**

> and that’s it !! 
> 
> this will be my first ever multi-chaptered fic so pls bear with me 
> 
> next update will take a bit longer since school is killing me but rest assured sokka and zuko will talk in that chapter this was more of a stepping stone or whatever 
> 
> leave a kudos/comment if u enjoyed !
> 
> see u guys soon for the next chapter !! <33


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